TORO! :: bull by the horns

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Archive for the ‘the greatest’ Category

we heart

Posted by rollinsloane on 28 February 2008

TiVo’s great, but when’s the last time you watched it at work? Turn to during those midday doldrums for a quick TV infusion. And no, I’m not talking Office re-runs either. Check this: Way Back Wednesdays, NBC’s retro headquarters featuring the C-grade likes of A-Team, Battlestar Galatica (70s version!), The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, Buck Rogers and, yes, Miami Vice. Full episodes, clips, interviews — the works, and all without a DVD player. Yeah, you love it. Why didn’t VH1 think of this?


Warning: there are internet commercials to deal with, but you have to look busy when the boss comes by anyway. Nothing in this life is free (except intern slave labor!).


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because birthdays should be fun

Posted by rollinsloane on 14 January 2008

Why send a boring e-card? Even your grandmother will appreciate a step away from flowers and teddy bears. Next time you e-card, try (“when you care enough to hit send”). These snarky little zingers will have you trolling their website looking for excuses to send cards.

For Valentine’s Day:

be my valentine someecards

For MLK Day: “Happy Martin Luther King Day to a borderline racist.”

For a crestfallen superfan: “Sorry I can’t empathize with the pain over your team losing.”

For new parents: “I hope your baby doesn’t hate you later in life” (or, even better, option #2: “Congratulations on not being sterile”)

For a true friend (and/or Deadwood fan): “If I were to shoot you, it would just be in the leg.”

— Ollie

Courtesy of: AdFreak.

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bear market: ready, aim — draw

Posted by rollinsloane on 9 November 2007

Animation duel — who’s the better 1960s bear?

baloo jungle bookyogi bear

They’ve both got charisma to burn and a voice like a stand-up bass, so it’s hard to pick favorites between The Jungle Book‘s Baloo and Hanna-Barbera‘s Yogi Bear. They cheerfully blunder into scrapes and scrounge for food to consume with as much speed and relish. Baloo, voiced by Phil Harris (not coincidentally, also the voice of Little John, the bear from Disney’s Robin Hood — pretty much Baloo, but brown), lives in Disney’s cartoony Indian jungle, shepherds around young Mowgli and affectionately torments straight-shootin panther Bagheera; Yogi, voiced by Daws Butler (also Huckleberry Hound — and Snagglepuss!), lives in Jellystone National Park, shepherds around young bow-tie-wearing Boo-Boo and affectionately torments straight-shootin Ranger Smith.

Points for Baloo:

– killer rhythm

– affinity for cross-dressing

– girth, baby, girth

When Baloo teams up with King Louis (swing trumpeter Louis Prima) for a jungle swing number, you don’t have to be knee-high to start dancing. Best musical number in animated Disney movie history? You better believe it.

Points for Yogi:

– pork-pie hat, neck cuff and dapper tie

– sidekick nicknamed Boob

– catchphrases (“Heeeeey, Boo-Boo! Let’s go get some pic-a-nic bas-kets!”)

And Yogi comes from the seven-minute world of Hanna-Barbara, which is another work-break plus [ah, the cartoon-short narrative, when you can get your guy in a mess and not bother getting him out]. YouTube’s got a number of episodes to sample from, and as long as you’re willing to stomach the lame theme song, always for the 60s batch instead of the recent 90s revivals.

Posted in huzzah, the greatest, vs. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

farewell, big poppa…toodles to robert goulet

Posted by rollinsloane on 1 November 2007

I once saw Robert Goulet play in Camelot onstage. Not my finest hour, perhaps, but to my credit I remember little of the occasion other my father’s baffling excitement. Alas, yesterday Goulet — the man, the myth, the moustache — has departed the glitz of this world for the infinitely shinier sequins above (no one with that voice is going below).

The Goulet’s hospitalization last week already prompted a tribute post out of me, and there’s no way I’m paying postmortem homage to the King of Vegas Crooners with a second run of the go-to Will Ferrell SNL impression, classic or not. Instead, here’s Will Ferrell going on Conan in full Goulet mode a few years back. Most of this clip adds up to Conan giggling like a tongue-tied schoolboy, but somehow I can actually imagine Goulet sporting lavender cologne without a bit of irony.

Oh, lord, the man spent over 50 years in showbiz! Here’s an additional clip of the actual man himself…so you too can wonder how he made it that long. Probably something to do with the lavender.

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now this is what I call modern dance

Posted by rollinsloane on 26 October 2007

This, ladies and gentlemen, is modern frivolous pop culture at its very finest. Sure, Dancing with the Stars is a cheesy bastion of celebreality — but when it comes to NFL legend Emmitt Smith, you have to ignore the sparkles and focus on the smoothness. Damn if the man don’t move like butter.

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Posted by rollinsloane on 25 October 2007

I could say this post is partially in honor of veteran hambone Robert Goulet, the legendary stage thespian-cum-lounge singer recently hospitalized due to illness, but that bit of news is pure convenience for finally putting up this Will Ferrell clip. Ferrell may not be a man of range — he’s got Arrogant Buffoon (Ron Burgundy), Sweet-Natured Buffoon (Frank the Tank) and Balding, Vaguely Spiritual Buffoon (James Lipton) down pat — but damn if he isn’t the perfect conduit for an official send-up of Goulet-style martini cheesiness. This SNL clip has Ferrell crooning Notorious B.I.G’s “Big Poppa” and Sisqo’s “Thong Song” with all the verve of an aging hipster gone unknowingly to seed.

Skewering the 70s lounge singer seems to be turning into a booming business. New York’s Justin Bond and Kenny Mellman created the drag cabaret duo of Kiki and Herb in the early 90s, combining the stage banter of Bond’s aging alcoholic “chantreuse” Kiki with a range of hoarse Broadway and pop covers while Mellman’s gay, near-silent Herb accompanies faithfully on piano. LA’s Richard Cheese and Lounge Against the Machine are less theatrical but just as schticky, classing up such mainstream fare as “Baby Got Back,” “Nookie,” “Suck My Kiss,” “Wrong Way” and “Rape Me” since 2000.

But as far as I’m concerned, the crowning jewel of the somewhat dead-end routine is none other than self-styled International Singing Sensation Meow Meow, a firebrand faux-diva more along the line of a German 40s nightclub act (think Cabaret’s Sally Bowles). On one hand, Meow Meow is Kiki’s younger incarnation — still an alcoholic, still a glamour-puss, still a cynical stage veteran always resigned to go on with the show. But she doesn’t rely on her pianist for back-up; it’s all Meow, all the time. A recent performance at the Melbourne Arts Festival’s Famous Speigeltent had her literally climbing around the sold-out crowd, stealing sips from any casually held-out wine glass and losing the occasional bit of clothing. Interactive, and a voice to boot.

The lounge-act mockery of Kiki and Herb seems likely to stale quickly — after a while, it’s beating a dead horse. Meow Meow adds even as she pokes fun, branching out into a broader future of stage entertainment. A meta-throwback to the past, sure, but with the comedic sexual frankness of the future.

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